Don’t Lose What You Have to What You Have Lost
– Lucy C. Hone Ph.D.
This article is inspired by another podcast of Cory Muscara on the topic – Resilience.
Especially after we lost something or someone that was important for us, we have to accept the new life and leave the “(un)finished business” behind – all so we can “be with ourselves”. In these times, having the strength to keep living becomes vital.
The time seems going slow
Until I feel fully free
So go, please, now just go
What happened is dead to me
Run, please just run afar
You can’t bear with “new me”
Bye, bye and au revoir
What happened is dead to me.
They year of 2020 has shown us big time that unpredictable things can happen to all of us (even at the same time) and that usually, what we expect the least, happens.
Dealing with the changes, such as working from home, having less freedom or even dealing with sickness or death, were the moments one of us have experienced in this period or even before this pandemic, or will experience sooner or later at some point in our lives.
To say it straight – stuff will happen and there is no denial about that and it is not possible to avoid it. It is all matter of time when and what it will be for us, similarly like Lucy Hone describes in her Ted Talk below, talking about the biggest lessons in her life that taught her how to face changes and keep moving forward with resilience.
On Queen’s Birthday weekend in 2014, the sudden death of her 12 year old daughter, Abi, forced Lucy to turn her substantial academic training and professional practice to foster resilience in very personal circumstances. Resilient Grieving, the best-selling book she wrote in the aftermath of Abi’s death is now available in the US, UK and NZ. (LinkedIn, 2020).
Dr. Lucy Hone reveals 3 secrets of resilient people:
- Resilient people know that sh*t happens
- Resilient people are really good at choosing where they put their attention
- Resilient people ask themselves: “Is what I am doing helping me or harming me”?
This three points that Lucy mentioned in the video are highly applicable to any context in which we are experiencing misfortunate moments.
The key is to recognize that we should always try to work with things we can still change.
Believe that if we knew what to do, we would have already done it.
Even if we knew there was a situation in which we saw what could have been done and we still couldn’t take a leap without feeling good about it then….let’s trust that and keep moving on – by choosing to focus on something that brings us joy – yes it will be temporary joy, like all the feelings of struggle that we are facing. That is how it is…
In this dual world, good and bad will be constantly crossing our paths, unless we stop moving. However, if we stop moving, we stop living…so we can choose – A Being Dead OR B Being alive.
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